February 8, 2019

So to celebrate Valentine's - albeit a little late, how about some REAL help for something that plagues all of us...getting through the tough problems that occur when you're putting together your project.

To start - I found this and thought it was deligtful.

Grace Says	Excuse Says
Mistakes aren't Fatal	Mistakes are a reason to quit
Progress is more important that perfection	Perfection a reason to procrastinate
People aren't perfect & offers forgiveness	Failure is a reason to write someone off
Gives you ability to try again tomorrow	Allows you to give up
Understands the big picture	Fixates on the small details
I am not my mess	Lets the mess define you
Offers Courage	Propagates fear
You are Big	You are Small

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This is all about your attitude toward your sewing and more particular the challenges that your sewing can create.  What happens here is way bigger than you can possibly imagine.  Pushing yourself to do more, to rise above what may appear to define you, into what you chose  to define you can suddenly change you in ways you haven't even dreamed and for the better -- much better.
 

Some Words to Live By, But.....

So those are really fine words aren't they?  How many times have you heard this and agreed with it and said, well that's all fine and dandy for Claire to say that, but to tell you the truth...

• that stuff never works for me....or
• that works for Claire cause she's a pro....or
• it works for a little while but doesn't work very long....or
• it works to a certain point and then that's it.

So the first thing I think when I hear those things is pffffff,  and no that's not to discount you or say that you don't feel that way.  I know you do, and that's NOT what I mean. 

What I mean is don't be so down on yourself or trying something new.  Work with it more than a couple of hours, days or weeks.  Give it a chance to work.  Now the hardest time will be the first time, the next hardest the second time, and on and on.  The more you use this, the friendlier and easier it gets.
 

Here are some ideas to help you over the tough humps:

• Rest - this is the #1 cause of mistakes, frustration and failure. This happens to me too.  Just last night I was having a fight with my printer and the printer was winning.  I finally sat it down, and addressed with some expletives deleted remarks and took a shower and went to bed - even though I was possessed about what I was wanting to do and the creative juices were running like Niagara Falls, I wasn't accomplishing anything.  So I went to bed and BTW feeling like I was giving up and have to go online tomorrow to get a new printer - those are the demons I fight when something like this happens.  The next morning I come in and look at the printer like - OK what evil thing are you up to today?....and guess what - I had a part in backwards, and discovered it immediately and poof - just like the fairy godmother touched me, the dang thing is up and running.  Going to bed, even though I felt at the time like I was giving in to the printer and giving up on it, was actually the exactly right thing to do.  The point here is that rest truly is really key.  So: 
  • Don't start a project when you're tired does not mean instant failure
  • Don't continue on when you're making one mistake after another does not mean decrease in your self-worth value 
  • Don't be so possessed - even if it is the muse screaming in your ear as you're walking away with her saying "But we have so many more ideas, like this, and we could do that, and there's this we could do....."  well you know how the muse gets.  There's a time to continue and a time to walk away - I'm not sure that's in Leviticus, but it should be! 
  • The walk away can be for an hour or so do some chores, run an errand or two, then come back to your work and tackle it anew.
• Examine the problem - OK, you're rested, you're working swimmingly and suddenly it's not the execution that's bothering you, it's the whole concept - like:    How does this go together?  What in the world does reversing the operation to what is show in the photo mean?  I'm confused?  How do I figure this out?  Step back and take a look at the problem.  As best you can define what's confusing, and this may require you writing this down and working through what's really the problem, defining it, and most of all paring it down to the problem that may not appear at first, not what's 4 or 5 steps on down the track, but the immediate problem at hand.  This helps reduce the confusion while bringing on a feeling of, "I can do this.  I have to simply calm down and think through this problem."
• Review how you got to the problem - often this will reveal a slight discrepancy that lead to the the problem situation you're in.  This can seem so simple but it's the reason when you call tech support they ask questions like: Is the Computer on?....do you have the computer plugged in?...and go from there, because that can often lead to the solution.  It's a lot like this:
  •  "OK, I started with this and I cut out the piece here, so let me look at the pattern piece to see if there's information there. 
  • Then I put the other piece together with this piece and that made this section. 
  • Then the instructions say to do this and that. 
  • IOW, go through the whole track of what you have already done to lead up to the problem step that brought you to your current dilemma. 
• Don't get distracted.  We have a LOT of stuff in our lives, and they are all vying for our attention and response.  Be selective and cruel in your editing of these peripheral activities and if you have to, turn them completely off so that you are focused solely only on your problem.  Be simple-minded about this, and if you have to you can talk with yourself out loud.  This is all about focusing on where you are.
• Don't pre-judge yourself....don't expect a problem when there really isn't one there, or it's at a spot where you've had a problem before so you're automatically thinking you're going to have the same problem again.  I can not tell you how many times students come to me and say they have a problem, when it's literally fine, and all they need to do is go to the next step.  Sometimes, we quit or stop too early when going on, we find that there was no problem at all and what we did was correct after all, which leads to this....
• Here's the final and most important thing to remember here.  Once you work through the issue, and you WILL work through it, you will remember the solution, and I can not tell you the immense endorphin rush you will have!  All the consternation, worry, frustration, helplessness and exasperation will fall to the side, and what you will remember is the solution and, heaven forbid, even tackling more challenges in the future! 
• Think of your problem, not as a problem but as a puzzle to be solved.  This is all about intent and the mindset and environment that you are creating to set up a positive outcome to your puzzle (not problem) and to help you stay curious, wondering and solution-oriented about the puzzle.  If this is a puzzle, then there is a solution, all you have to do is find it.  The puzzle is not meant to be unsolvable and sometimes knowing that is enough to get you to the solution to your puzzle. 

Yes - we all wish that all we had to do was put a magical cord that was plugged into a machine in the back of our neck and in 3 minutes learn all there is to know about sewing.  But I'm going to share a deep dark secret that not many will share with you - There is absolutely no way to know everything there is to know about sewing.  Why?  Because that is the equivalent of a state of perfection that is impossible for the human species.  In the same way that we can  not know everything there is to know about human behavior, know everything there is to know about the universe, we can not expect to know everything there is to know about sewing.  We are not created to know everything, and to expect humans to do something they were not created to do is working toward 1.) certain failure, 2.) certain insanity and 3.) certain rejection and/or never going down that path again (which brings about common statements like:  "I can't sew for my body because I'm too fat....because I'm not the perfect size....because it's too hard."  Well of course you can't, if you expect to know all the secrets of the universe and sewing, then guess what - you are going to fail. 

But you don't have to know all the secrets of sewing to sew well, and to sew well for yourself.  This is the primary way you learn and will advance your sewing skills - by working through problems.  That means that working through your puzzles and relishing the victories, no matter how small, you do progress, and one victory leads to another and then to another and so forth.  I wish we could all get plugged into the Matrix like Neo, but that ain't the case....unless we become half machine - I'll pass on that (not sure machines have endorphins!)

So for this Valentine's Day albeit a little late:
 

• Be gentle with yourself while you're learning.
• Be rested 
• Approach it like a puzzle
• Have fun with this
• Relax and let the creative juices flow
• And most of all relish in your victories (no matter how small) and enjoy the endorphin rush!

 

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