December 27, 2019
  There is always the last-minute run-up to Christmas and although much of it is filled with last-minute gift-giving, food-preparation and party-going.  once Christmas comes there's the inevitable let-down.  I always felt this after the holidays and thought something was wrong with me.

Why do I always feel that everything I did wasn't enough?  Why is it that even though I did the best possible, there's always something more I could have done to make it better?  There's a sense of not doing enough, the cuddas, shuddas and wuddas in the after-Christmas let-down.  I couldn't figure out what was the matter with me?
 
But what happens if we think of this time as something completely different?  A lot of people try to absolve and mitigate that after-holiday let-down by denying themselves pleasures and fun of the holidays, and I'm not sure that's really helps either.  Taking away the joy of something simply so you won't feel a let-down, doesn't seem right either.

Christmastime is always full of joy, beauty, and fun and we shouldn't try to take that away so we will feel less let-down than if we didn't experience those joys.  So it seems that there's something else going on here.

So what happens if we think of this time between Christmas and Epiphany as a natural time to draw in.  There's nothing wrong with celebrating and partying, leading up to the holidays as there's nothing wrong with turning in and meditative after the holidays.  It's some of the most perfect time to do that.
  Nature in it's run up to harvest and the most bountiful time of year, has to also take a break, and being a part of that natural break is only.....well....natural.  We humans are tied to this natural break in as much as we are tied to the circadian rhythms of the Sun daily.  Science has studied that if we don't adhere to those schedules, that we have serious health and mental issues.  From the National Institute on Health:

 

Circadian rhythms help determine our sleep patterns. The body’s master clock, or SCN, controls the production of melatonin, a hormone that makes you sleepy. It receives information about incoming light from the optic nerves, which relay information from the eyes to the brain. When there is less light—like at night—the SCN tells the brain to make more melatonin so you get drowsy. Researchers are studying how shift work as well as exposure to light from mobile devices during the night may alter circadian rhythms and sleep-wake cycles.

So it should be no surprise that during the darkest time of the year, we would naturally want to fall back into that same darkness.  That doesn't mean we're going to be searching for something negative.  Because that's not what nature is doing outside.  Nature outside is resting.  It is storing up for the production of spring and the summer production of crops.  Instead thinking of this time as a time to take stock and allow for a down-time to not only re-evaluate ourselves, but also to enjoy what we have done and simply be. These are the darkest and quietest time of the seasonal year and using that dark, down-time, to regenerate ourselves is not only natural but needed. 


When I first started thinking like this, I was astonished at how much I needed it, how easy it was to fall into a wonderful meditative state, how natural it was and most of all how much I enjoyed it, and how it made the holidays that much more meaningful, without having to give up anything.  I still had the fabulously delicious holiday feast;  I still had the wonderful concerts and Christmas experiences (one of them being midnight at Kings or Clare College at Cambridge or even Choral Evensong on the BBC);  I still overate;  I still did Christmas cards with and not getting everyone on the list;  and most of all I still tried to do too much but not all I wanted to do. 
  But at the end of it all, giving myself the time to enjoy the holidays and revel in them - mistakes and misgivings included too, the holidays become way more meaningful.  This really isn't about the star in the East and the three wise men, although in a way it is.  It's the symbology of the light in the star, and the wisdom of the wise men, that really becomes meaningful and completes the whole Christmas holiday celebration and meditation.  This time allows me to find the light and wisdom within me.

I call this the Thirteen Holy Nights (starting on Christmas Eve night) and some refer to it as the Twelve Holy Nights starting on Christmas Night.  Whatever you like to name it, it's the time from Christmas to Epiphany. 

Every year I do a notebook that I can use to help in organizing my thoughts.  (Click the above link or pic below to download a copy for you). 
 
I don't know about you, but this time of year my brain is all over the place, so I need help in getting started with this.  I have a nice place, gentle and quiet, and let everyone know that I want some time to myself - meditation time, and then set up a schedule or series of things you can do to set your mind in the right place.  I usually fix myself a fresh cup of hot tea, sit calmly and start with a prayer or a quiet time, light my candle, and there's something about a flame in a candle that draws us in toward that light and let that happen naturally then start with my meditation.  Simply a setting a series like this can help your mind relax and turn inward.  Here's a notebook I use this year, that has some ideas on how to start and guide to help with each night.  This isn't something that you have to abide.  This is merely a guide, and if your mind goes in another direction, let that go and take notes where you go cause this will help for next year when you do this again. 

This is about creating a time and space for you to be more like the natural rhythm of the seasons.  This isn't about completing an exercise or making sure that each box is checked and each line is filled in.  It's there if you want it.  Last year, I simply did a lot of meditation and not many months filled in.  The space and lines are there if you have thoughts or ideas, that's all. 

Enjoy!

 

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